Your attitude determines how well you sell yourself, your product or your service and how you are perceived in the business community. It will also impact how you feel about yourself and how confidently you come across when relating to others in any given situation.

We all have situations where we feel more confident and effective than others and are able to project a positive attitude – usually our comfort zone. However when we are asked to step outside our comfort zone and try something new our confidence and effectiveness can waiver while we feel our feet.

Being Prepared

In the ‘Focus Your AIM – body language 4 sales, business & leadership success’ course, one of the first things we cover in the 6 step process is ‘Being Prepared’, starting with your attitude.

If we are unprepared, we are unlikely to create a great first impression it will be a very hit and miss affair. But if we take charge to prepare ourselves mentally, emotionally and physically to ensure we enter any situation with the best attitude and most impactful body language then we will always come out on top.

Everything you think and feel is reflected in your body language for all to see, so you can’t hide. Creating the best attitude for your role in any given moment, gives you the edge to be fully prepared to relate, sell, present or give good service.

The Impact of a Negative Attitude

Do you remember the film ‘Pretty Woman’ – where Julia Roberts visits a high end boutique on Rodeo Drive and is snubbed by the shop assistants who look down on her because of her unique appearance. This superior, arrogant, judgemental attitude cost the shop assistants majorly on lost commission, as Julia Roberts spent thousands of US$’s with another shop who provided a great service, treating her courteously with respect and acceptance.

Well that may have just been a movie, but unfortunately I have seen that negative attitude regularly exhibited via body language in many industries. Where good service and building rapport should have been the order of the day – and it wasn’t!

A Negative Attitude is reflected in the body language through:

• Hands on Hips
• Looking down the nose
• Frowning & not smiling
• Facing away and continuing with what you are doing
• Walking slowly, dragging feet or shuffling
• Head down ignoring the other person
• Lack of eye contact
• Mumbling or high pitch voice tone
• Slouching; sitting or standing in slovenly manner
• Weak or dominant handshake
• Crossed or folded arms, legs
• Fiddling with hair, clothes, items
• Fidgeting, sniffing, chewing, giggling etc
• Hands in pockets
• Talking too much, not listening

Now ask yourself (and your staff or team):

What is my Attitude when relating with others? How is this reflected in my body language?

• What do I need to add or change to be more effective?
• How can I become more effective at building authentic relationships?
• What can I do to make the customer’s experience a great one?

Negative Body Language Costs Companies Millions $’s in lost business and revenue every single day.
Do you know what’s happening in your company?
Do you know the impact negative body language is having in your life?

What are you prepared to do about it right now?

- By Suzanne Masefield, Certified Trainer at the Center for Body Language (View profile)

When properly used body language can be your key to greater success on any level. It can help to build sustainable private and work relationships , to work easier in a multicultural world, bond with colleagues or employees, influence people in sales and other domains, present your ideas with bigger impact and protect your charisma.

How does it work?

First of all it is already a unconscious habit. We’ve been reading body language our entire life. As a baby we already mirrored the movements on our mothers face. Our limbic brain is the first part of the brain to receive emotional information based on reactions on body language signs. Our body reacts on interpretations made by that specific part of the brain.
So relax we’re programmed for it.

Learn the basics of body language. Learn about facial expressions. Read a book, follow a course . There are many ways to bring your knowledge into awareness in what has been a subconscious process. Don’t make the common mistakes people make when they try to read an nonverbal message.
Look at het context. For instance if somebody is crossing his of her arms it doesn’t always mean that they are not open for communication. It could be that this person is feeling cold.

Look for clusters of signals. Don’t rely on a single nonverbal sign. A person that is touching the nose is not automatically lying.
Set a baseline. Try to find out what is normal behaviour for the person you’re communicating with.
If you meet a foreigner don’t jump into conclusions before you know what kind of cultural difference you can expect. Men and women really are from another planet because of a gender difference in brain function. Women might feel that men are to direct, insensitive, never listening and that they are taking a lot of space. While men often think that women are too emotional, indecisive, use to many gestures and lack authority. The truth is that together they form a great team!

A few things you always should do:

Smile from the inside even when you’re on camera. It is very hard to ignore a genuine smile.
Use open body posture stand straight and look people into the eyes when talking to you. Respect space and personal distance. If the person you are talking to is moving further and further it means that they feel threatened
Try to find out if people agree or don’t agree with you and act further on that knowledge in a nonverbal and verbal way.
Don’t forget to look under the table. People often rehears what to do with arms and hands,but it is very difficult to control your feet so if somebody wants to leave it is possible that their feet are pointing towards to door.
Also remember that we feel closer to someone who’s touched us in a neutral zone for instance on the back or in the area between the shoulder and elbow.
Always be congruent and honest. Never communicate a message you don’t believe in.

And last but not least:

Never underestimate the power of empathy. People are looking for respect, empathy, understanding and they love being thanked and wanted. So act on that!

- By Dana Ketels, Certified Trainer at the Center for Body Language (View profile)

Is that enough? Certainly not. What can we do then to enhance the results of using this tool? We can begin by realizing how we humans behave. Most important is the fact that we cannot stop thinking. Thinking makes us react, always physiologically and some times also verbally. Knowing that simple fact, we can start using Cybernetics, test and operate. Which means, we have to become dynamic…send messages and check the results. Messages can vary, it can be questions, assumptions, gestures. Each would give us a reaction. The reactions form a picture of what is going on in the persons mind. When we look at the content we receive in a certain context, we are truly practicing Cybernetics. We are sending a signal and we are checking to see the result. If the result is what we expected, we know we are in the right direction. If it is not, change the signal. In this way we can navigate our communication wisely. This can be useful in many kinds of communications if not in all. From a friendly chat, through business negotiating, sales, persuasion etc.

Think for example what a reporter is doing. It is in fact an interrogation, he wants to get the answers to what he presumes is an interesting story. The interviewee, may want to tell the story or he may not. Would you like to know if he is truthful or leading you astray? By learning to navigate wisely you will always know where you stand.A person comes in to be interviewed for a job. It would be in his best interest to make a good impression. Since he wants the job, he may use some stories that are not the exact truth. Would you like to know the truth?
You are in a negotiation, you are trying to convince the other party that your proposal is in his best interest. He makes a certain expression. If you know what it means you can feel assured you are in the right direction, or realize you have said something inappropriate and immediately correct your line of persuasion. This would make the difference between agreement or none agreement. To conclude, Micro expressions identification and knowing how to use this tool can in large save you a lot of time and disappointments.

-By Emil Capone, Certified Trainer at the Center for Body Language (View profile)

To make a good first impression you must use your body language to your advantage. The first impression will be heavily dependent upon your non- verbal signals. To make a favorable first impression you can try some of these tips:
For starters: when you meet somebody, focus on them. It’s important to make appropriate eye contact. When making eye contact don’t stare the person down, but don’t look all around the room either. Make sure your attention is direct to where you look.

Another tip would be to pay attention to your posture while talking. You should be standing up tall with your chest centered and your shoulders back. Even though this might seem as if you’re in a tense position, just relax.

To build a good relationship from the beginning it is best to show often an open posture. Make sure to show the inside of your palms regularly, which gives the other person subconsciously the feeling that they are welcome and their message is resonating with you.
You probably also know that all of these tips only work if you really feel good inside, and when you are able to reflect this with full integrity on the outside. This is why at the Center for Body Language we perceive body language as a stethoscope: it is very useful to identify what is wrong, but it doesn’t heal you. If you would like to make a better first impression from today, the best way to start is to explore what emotions you feel when you first meet somebody, and to start optimizing your self-confidence.

How? A quick tip is to keep a journal of your thoughts. Ask yourself what you feel when you meet somebody for the first time? Write it down. Do you like being in large groups? What do you think of yourself just at the moment you meet somebody? Go on research how to manage emotions and how to reduce stress in stressful situation. Some of the answers (the really interesting answers) might not come immediately, but the more you become aware of your thought and emotions, the more you will be able to find a way to change them from the inside-out. And this, will have an immediate impact on your body language.

- by Patryk Wezowski, Founder of the Center for Body Language